Wednesday, January 9, 2013

What Do I Love Most?

What do I love most?  I say I love God more than life itself.  Easy.  Simply. 
But it’s far more challenging, far more effort, far more consuming to live out that loving Him better than anything in life.  Do I love Him more than my pride?-my sin?  What about more than my family, friends, and materialistic blessings?

I can say I would lay down my life in an instant for His kingdom’s cause because I know I will spend eternity with Him and in the midst of His perfect and endless love!- but it is wearying to think about living in this messed up broken world being a messed up broken person.  Yes He has redeemed me and given me a new heart, new purpose, and new life!  But it can be despairing to live in a broken place, still falling into sin.

~~ ---- ~~
This was written sometime early in 2011.  And it brings tears to my eyes to even think of it, even if it was incomplete thoughts.  Oh, how absolutely faithful God is!-how true He is!-How wonderful He is!  It is indeed more consuming to live out loving Him better than anything in life.  And let me be the first to tell you, the refining fires of God have tested this most heatedly, most acutely, and most assuredly in my life. 

What a privilege it is, what an honor, blessing, and true test of grace it has been in my life to have the Creator God of the universe to test and approve me through trials and tribulations... and for me to come out sanctified and not cast aside.  I love Him, more dearly than I ever have before in this life, because He showed me His love in ways I cannot describe.  To know His grace when I was left destitute, to know His peace when life's storms buffeted me about, to know His love when I was otherwise forsaken, to know His kindness when others were harsh, to know His Spirit when mine seemed lost, to know His forgiveness when I felt unlovable, to know Him as Comforter when I felt I could never know comfort, to know Him as Healer when I felt forever broken and wounded, to know Him as my rock when all else seemed shaken, to know Him as my salvation when it felt I would never be saved from the pit of despair.  Oh my, how wonderful our God is!  I have lost, yet I have gained so much in Christ.  Whatever cost He deems necessary, by His grace I will submit to His will.  Come what may, He is my all in all.  If He had not chosen me, what a wretch I would still be.  I will love Him, for He has chosen the life I am to lead, so He will give me grace to walk in whatever He has planned for me.

And I am so thankful for the man He has given as my husband to walk this life with.  A true treasure he is. (:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Dear Reader,

When commenting, I would appreciate two of the following: first, that with humility of mind you might consider others better than yourself. Second, that you would not use inappropriate language on my blog.

Phil 1:21, Eph 5:3-4.

Thanks! (: