There is so much to say, so much to write, and less time to say it all. As I type these words my precious bundle of joy is laying on my chest sleeping contentedly. I don't always like to lay him down in his co-sleeper crib because I love holding him so much! And since I am simply tapping away at a keyboard, I can hold him easily (as opposed to dishes, or say eating, lol!) thanks to my boppy billow from a friend! He is so precious. I can still hardly believe he is here in my arms after so many months of preparing, waiting, and praying for him. (:
For the record, I am working on writing out his Birth Story and will share it on this blog, as well as a 2013 Complete Book List Post. Both of which I hope to post before December is over. They are both a work in progress.
About this baby, and life with him. It is humbling. Extremely humbling. From day one of his life it has taught me this deep reliance on my sovereign Lord, realizing ever more how I am not the one in control, but that I depend upon the Lord and His graciousness toward me. It has made me acknowledge in so many moments that He is the one who holds us in His hands. For example needing this baby to poop and pass all that meconium. Yes, cue the parent blog posts talking about poop! I am that mom now. It really was crazy how badly we were waiting for him to poop, wondering if his diapers were wet enough, and wondering if he was getting enough to eat! He lost 4 oz. by the second day. Then Day 3 he had an explosion! Like, his diaper could not contain it and it went ALL over and up his back, right when Grandma Sue arrived for her first visit, LOL! My sweet and selfless husband cleaned the baby up and managed to save the Onsie my bestie Hannah gave to him. And I'm talking the black, tarry, sticky, so hard to clean up poop. You know if you're a mom, and you'll know when you have a baby. O_o Since then he has produced a massive amount of soiled diapers, praise the Lord! And when he wasn't, I was silently praying to the Lord in each moment, not wanting to worry, but to cast all my cares and anxieties on the Lord. And at his two week visit he gained TWO WHOLE POUNDS! And grew to 22 3/4''. Apparently, according to my midwife, they typically hope for babies to gain half a pound in the first two weeks. (: He's eating like an Allison already!
It is surreal to me that I could love a little person so much. It has also been amazing how Samuel and I's relationship has grown deeper and sweeter. I love him even more, and it continually surprises me how I could possibly love him more than before! He has been so selfless, so sacrificial, so gracious, so loving, so very patient and dear to me. His tenderness has touched me deeply, both toward me and II Samuel. I honestly do not know what I would have done without him home the first week and half. He's been amazing. (: Still is! I look at my Samuels and my heart is so full of love for both of them. One of the best parts about mothering, so far, for me has been nursing my little one and seeing him grow on the nourishment my body is providing for him. It is indescribable. I look down at his sweet face and he looks so secure and at peace. His little baby breathing and eyes are so mesmerizing. It wasn't easy at first, but nor was it horrible. Just minor discomfort compared to some of the stories I've heard. How fearfully and wonderfully we are made, how perfect the Lord crafted mother's bodies to meet the needs of their child, I praise Him for His works are great!
He's nearly 4 weeks old and I am ready to get on with this new normal. But it has been such a sweet time of rest and recovery. We have been abundantly blessed by so many friends and family during these first few weeks. And as I ease back into my regular life, I m thankful for the time I spent before of freezing so many meals and prepping things to make the transition easier. But oh wow, I was not prepared for how much more laundry a baby could produce! I'm glad I took the time to make our laundry detergent before he was born.