Fast forward to this past Lord's day, and my brother in law caught a LARGE and I mean gigantic spider. He then had the nerve to present the spider to my face, as in a foot away (way to close for comfort). This was at their house for lunch, not in church, mind you. It had an eggsac on the back, which was absolutely petrifying when you think of the implications! For example, this is not merely a squishable spider, for if you stop on it or whack a book on it... you release thousands of its tiny minions! Which is enough to make my heart stop. So it is not easy to kill. So she remained alive the whole Sunday, and he thought it funny to bring it up numerous times. After weeks of talking of spiders... all I wanted was the safety of my own home.
Though, the irony is, my home is not safe from spiders. I can handle small squishable ones, the ones that crawl on the porch and I can step on or whack with my shoe, but those large and detestable ones... they literally scare me still! So yesterday I decided to act on some of the money saving tips my husband encourages me in, such as utilizing the clothes line he put up for me in the backyard. I proudly did the laundry and hung them to try... when I had a wasp encounter! Which, by the way, we are battling a few wasps nests around our house, not quite as horrifying as spiders, but still scary. I reached to grab a clothespin and lo and behold a red winged devil snuggled its body next to my finger, out of pure shock and terror, I shook my hand violently and jumped to the side and quickly ran to the back door steps. When all was clear I finished hanging my assorted clothing and ran inside. I left shortly after to run errands... and when I came back, the real fear struck. I went out to put my naughty dog out in her doghouse. I looked to the sky, admiring the beauty of God's creation, when a paralyzing sight caught my eye causing me to literally run. A spider. Not just any spider, but one with a web spanning 2 feet in diameter and a body more terrifying than even the one I saw on Sunday.
I couldn't face my backyard after that. My plan was to wait til my husband got home and ask him to get his ladder and catch it. It was so big it was not squishable, but needed a well thought out death, such as death by drowning, or dousing it in a pool of poison. Anything but allow it to live! Spiders receive an automatic death sentence around me, and mercy is not an option. I am the judge, jury, and executioner all rolled up in one when it comes to these wretched beings. Unfortunately, he got home late so it was dark by the time we finished dinner.
Which brings me to this day. I mustered all the courage I could and went and let the dog off her leash. (The spider built its nest just above her dog house). I then ran inside and got the camera to document the horrors of the day. Upon further investigation I found it had orange and black legs with a yellow and black spotted back. I then turned to google images. The horrors have subsided, and I have found something miraculous!
It is a Black and Yellow Argiope. It turns out they catch and eat things such as wasps. I am left with the decision, do I spare my wrath and allow a one time mercy toward the much loathed spider in order to naturally rid our home of the wasps? Or do I turn to the death of the spider and spray the fumes of poisonous death upon the wasps?
This is a true account of my nightmarish reality of spiders haunting me in the form of conversation, pictures, and real life spiders.
Also, here is a picture. *Shudders violently*.
Thus ends this account of spiders in the life of Mrs. Allison. Living in the country has more interesting bugs than in my old suburb... but to be continued...