Vapor

"Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away" James 4:14 

The truth of this scripture has been washing over me anew this day.  Some dear friends of ours lost a wonderful godly man to a very abrupt and unexpected tragedy.  A godly husband and father, now gone to be with the Lord.  My thoughts, tears, and prayers have been with them all through the day since finding out, and memories, like silent droplets of rain, gently drench my soul, remembering my own loss, years ago.

These two verses came to my mind immediately, and the tears began to flow as I poured out my heart in prayer, for these brothers and sisters in Christ.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 

I do not know their pain.  But I kept thinking and praying: this is the day of shock.  It is a day of blur.  This is a time where things get fuzzy, life seems to stop, yet nothing seems real.  You want to wake up, but you really don't.  The sad reality is still there with you for days, but it never really sinks in.  You expect to see their face again, their smiles, their laughter, their jokes.  But it's strangely quiet.   They are strangely not there.  You know in your mind that God is sovereign and has a plan in all this; you know He is good, that your beloved is in a place of no more tears in the presence of our heavenly Father; yet your heart is breaking.  The pain is real, the grief is real, the sorrow is all too acute.  Suddenly, life is very real again, life is really different without them.  You know God is good, but your heart is so wrenched all you can think of is how can life go on without them?

I know, because I had my day of shock.  I had those feelings.  I had that pain, that sorrow.  But it is different for every single person who loses someone they love.  Every relationship is different.  Some lose sisters, some lose husbands, some lose daddy's.  Each one feels a little differently than the rest.

And the absolute worst thing you can ever say to someone suffering the loss of someone they love?  "I know how you feel" or "I understand what you're going through".  No you don't.  No one wants to hear that when the grief is fresh.  YOU never knew what it was like to be her sister.  YOU never knew what it was like to have him as father.  YOU never were married to this exact person.  YOU will never know precisely how it feels to have lost what they lost.  So please, don't ever say this to someone, even if you mean well.

Perhaps I remember the above through the eyes of someone younger, surrounded by immature people.  It has been many years since I have been through a tragic loss of a loved one's life, but I would hope no one would dream of saying they know how someone else feels during a loss.  It is just unfathomable to say such a thing to someone hurting.  I also remember going through such a devastating loss as someone who did not have any true comprehension that God is absolutely sovereign, reigning on His throne, and that nothing happens out of His will and plan for life.  I did not really know that God is good, even in the midst of tragedy, for all I could think of was, "why"?-and it was so unfair.  But it's not unfair.  God is in control, and He was very kind to bless us with that person's life as long as He chose to.  Knowing God is sovereign over all makes a huge difference when going through trials and hardships.  When I went through an entirely different tragedy of sorts (no loss of life), it was amazing to cling to the Lord God and know His mercy, grace, peace, and comfort and knowing He was sovereign and in control, and not one thing happened that He did not first allow.  As Linus from the Peanut's strip commented to Lucy's remark about God's promises being reassuring, "Sound theology has a way of doing that". So...


Everyone is different.  Some people need to have others around to feel loved, and have life and activity all around them.  Some people just want to share every sweet memory they have with anyone who will listen.  Some people need to be alone.  Some people need time to cry, or wrestle through their feelings whatever they may be.  Some people want to laugh.  Some people want a shoulder to cry on.  Some may even want you to cry right there with them.  So be sensitive to each person grieving.  And each person in a family is different.  Some may cry every single night.  Others may cry once.  Each have their way of expressing their sorrow.

Above all, though they are different, everyone needs the same thing: prayer, and the comfort of God.  They all need the saints of Christ to bear their burden, to weep with them, even if it is not physically with them.

So even though you can't know how they feel, you can tell them, "I don't know how you feel or what you are going through, but your sorrow is my sorrow, my prayers are for you." 

And don't forget them in a month or two.  They are living with a new reality.  Next year, remember to give them a hug, send them a card, or a phone call, or text, to say, I love you and remember your loss. 

With my friends, all I could do was lift my tearful prayers up to the throne of grace.  I know the shock, I know it is going to be a slow process of sorrow and then healing.  I know they need the grace, peace, love, and comfort of God more than any other time in their life, right now.  But I do not know how they feel.  But our heavenly Father does.  And oh how sweet it is when He works in His timing to heal the brokenhearted, to comfort those in sorrow, and to give peace that surpasses all understanding when the world around you is chaos.

This life is but a vapor, quickly passing, quickly fading.  You never know when the one you love may not be here the next moment.  Cherish the blessings God has given you this day.  Trust in His unfailing love, and His sovereign plan.  Do not take for granted what you have this day. For who commands his destiny?  Who truly controls his own life?-none.

Remember, He gives grace to His children, yet His children are still sinners, so they need grace from you and I when they lack grace when grieving. 

In Review: One, Two, & Three

Ok, so the title of the book(s) I read was not "One, Two & Three", but rather my meaning is that I have three reviews for this month.  I finished the first one in a couple weeks, the other one over the weekend, and the other was one Samuel and I read together.  March Madness!-of books.  Not Basketball.

The first one is one I had on my list.  The Revolution: A Manifesto, Ron Paul.  The Revolution is associated with Ron Paul and his awakening of many formerly ignorant and/or apathetic American's to the demise of Liberty and the treading on our Constitutional rights.  He wrote this book during his 2008 campaign, and in his preface he said why he wrote it:

      "There is an alternative to national bankruptcy, a bigger police state, trillion-dollar wars, and a government that draws evermore parasitically on the productive energies of the American people.  It's called freedom.  But as we've learned through hard experience, we are not going to hear a word in its favor if out political and media establishments have anything to say about it.
     If we want to live in a free society, we need to break free from these artificial limitations on free debate and start asking serious questions once again.  I am happy that my campaign for the presidency has finally raised some of them.  But this is a long-term project that will persist far into the future.  These ideas cannot be allowed to die, buried beneath the mind-numbing chorus of empty slogans and inanities that constitute official political discourse in America.
     That is why I wrote this book." pp. x-xi

 Also from the preface, one of my favorite lines was penned: "Truth is treason in the empire of lies."  Pure gold.  The further I got into this book, the more my mind screamed, "All the naysayers of Dr. Paul NEED to read this to get a glimpse of how intelligently sound his ideas and policies are!"-as opposed to the popular belief that he is a "kook" or "crazy".  Hardly.  If one can be so narrow minded as to believe what the media establishment frames him to be, and not research his policies, words, and own thoughts, and see for themselves whether he is crazy or not, then I declare them: deluded and blind.  Willful or not.  Dr. Paul is a champion for liberty for all Americans, even those who write him off.

I like the idea of letting the book speak for itself, and sharing a few excerpts of the words to tell their own story.  So I'll continue this trend.  From the chapter "The Foreign Policy of the Founding Fathers":

"This just-war tradition developed in the fourth century with Ambrose and Augustine but grew to maturity with Thomas Aquinas and such Late Scholastics as Francisco de Vitoria and Francisco Suarez... First, there has to be an initial act of aggression, in response to which a just war may be waged.  But there was no act of aggression against the United States.  We are 6,000 miles from Iraq... Second, diplomatic solutions had not been exhausted... Traditional just-war criteria also demand that the initiation of war be undertaken by the proper authority.  Under the U.S. constitution, the proper authority is neither the president nor the United Nations.  It is Congress-but Congress unconstitutionally delegated its decision-making power over war to the president." pp. 23

"How does Israel, with which the United States has long enjoyed a special relationship, fir into this picture?  I see no reason that our friendship with Israel cannot continue.  I favor extending to Israel the same honest friendship that Jefferson and the Founding Fathers urged us to offer all nations... that means I also favor discontinuing foreign aid to governments that are actual or potential enemies of Israel, which taken together receive much more American aid than Israel does.  Giving aid to both sides has understandably made many average Israelis and American Jews conclude that the American government is hypocritically hedging its bets." pp. 34

"Foreign aid is not only immoral, since it involved the forced transfer of wealth..." pp. 34

" As a matter of fact, the Institute for Advances Strategic and Political Studies in Jerusalem argues that, 'Foreign aid is the greatest obstacle to economic freedom in Israel." pp. 35

"The costs of our foreign policy have become so great that they risk bringing the country to bankruptcy." pp 35

"We should let the best measure of our American greatness come from free and peaceful trade with other nations, not from displays of our military might."  pp. 37

The next chapter is "The Constitution":

" 'Our peculiar security is in possession of a written Constitution,' Jefferson advised us.  'Let us not make it a blank paper by construction.' " pp. 45 (For those that think it is a "living document"!)

"The draft is a totalitarian institution that is based on the idea that the government owns you and can dispose of your life as it wishes... Young people are now raw material to be employed by the political class on behalf of whatever fashionable political, military, or social cause catches its fancy.  In a free society, their lives are not the playthings of government."  pp. 55, 58

"The Founding Fathers did not intend for every American neighborhood to be exactly the same-a totalitarian impulse if there ever was one-or that disputes over competing values should be decided by federal judges.  This is the constitutional approach to deciding all issues that are not spelled out explicitly in our founding document: let neighbors and localities govern themselves." pp 62

And this is the chapter entitled "Economic Freedom":

"By 'legal plunder' Bastiat meant any use of government that enriched one group of people at the expense of another, and which would be illegal if private individuals tried to carry it out themselves." pp. 70

"I cannot finish a discussion of looting without mentioning the income tax... The income tax implies the same thing: government owns you, and graciously allows you to keep whatever percentage of the fruits of your labor it chooses." pp. 78

"We have lost our belief that freedom works, because we no longer have the imagination to conceive of how a free people might solve its problems without introducing threats of violence-which is what government solutions ultimately are."  pp. 85

"HMO's have become corporate bureaucratic middlemen in our healthcare system, driving up costs while degrading the quality of medical care.  In all other industries, technology has nearly always led to lower prices-except in health care, thanks to the managed-care system that has been forced on us." pp. 87
 
This next chapter is on "Civil Liberties and Personal Freedom":

"Toward the end of 2007, Senator Jeff Sessions declared, 'Some people in this chamber love the Constitution more than they love the safety of this nation.  We should all send President Bush a letter thanking him for protecting us.'  What kind of sheep must politicians take Americas for if the expect us to fall for creepy propaganda like this?" pp. 125 *chuckles*

I will spare you of the entire book via quotations.  But it such a light and easy read, you could finish it in one setting, if you had the time to spare.  Dr. Paul is not perfect, and I do not agree with everything he says.  But for an introduction into the concept of Liberty and the lack in American politics, I highly recommend this book.  Dr. Paul is a man of integrity, who is consistent, and deserves to be respected. 

So I give this book 4 1/2 Stars.  4) being, a really great book, useful to instruct, thought provoking/good entertainment, very challenging, growth as a reader, way more good than bad (I really didn't have any qualms with anything he said in this book), would recommend. Worth reading again.

Book Two:  The Last Disciple Hank HaneGraff, Sigmund Brouwer

This is a fictional novel about the end times.  End times?  Indeed.  Set in AD 65.  By far the best fiction I've read in a while (could also be because I haven't read any fiction in quite a while).  Also, this blows "Left Behind" out of the water.  Yes, I read the entirety of the "Adult Series" of Left Behind AND almost all of the "Kids Series", so I have the right to comparison in full depth.  My only caution about this book would be that it is more for mature Christian readers.  I would not want a young person to read it.  By young, it is relative, there can be extremely mature 16 year olds, and very immature 17 years olds.  But I would not recommend any younger than that simply because some of the sinful nature described in the book is slightly graphic for a *Christian* book.  But let it be said, I've read worse in the so called "Christian fiction", think Karen Kingsbury (and she is pretty mild compared to others).

An excerpt from the Afterword:

"The Last Disciple presents an alternative to the Left Behind understanding of end times events based on a methodology called Exegetical Eschatology (E2)... the plain and proper reading of a biblical passage must always take precedence over a particular eschatological presupposition or paradigm.

For example, the pretribulational rapture model featured in the Left Behind series interprets Revelation 13 in a strictly literal fashion.  Thus, Antichrist dies and resurrects himself physically in order to vindicate his claim to be god...

In sharp contrast, The Last Disciple series exegetes Revelation 13 in light of the whole of scripture.  Thus, Satan can parody the work of Christ, through "all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders" (2 Thessalonians 2:9), but cannot literally do what Christ did-namely raise himself from the dead." pp. 393-394

This receives a 4 Star. 4) being, a really great book, useful to instruct, thought provoking/good entertainment, very challenging, growth as a reader, way more good than bad, would recommend. Worth reading again.An enjoyable book to read.

Book Three: Easy Chairs Hard Words, Douglas Wilson.

Remember when I did my review on Luther's Bondage of the will?-and I said I would not recommend it to someone interested in this topic of an enslaved will for the first time?  Well, this is the book I would highly recommend!  This book was written in a conversational style, making it very easy to follow the concepts, ideas, and scripture, without it feeling like a heavy, boring, plodding theological work.  Anywhere from Jr. High level reading, to adult reading.  It is set up as a young man going to a "Calvinist" pastor of the town secretly to ask him some questions about his struggles.  Doug Wilson does an excellent job knocking down all the horrible stereotypes about so called "Calvinists" and instead avoids the term, but rather presents the fictional character, and the reader, with a plethora of scripture to show how scripture interprets scripture, and we never ever throw out the word of God just because it doesn't fit our theology.

Whether you are scared of predestination, election, and the full sovereignty of God, whether it depresses you, whether you hate it and shake you first saying *That's not my God!*, or you already accept God's word on these matters, this is an excellent book to read, or give to a friend.

One thing we really liked about this book was the amount of time and space Scripture took up in this book.  It wasn't a bunch of straw men Doug knocks down, or even a bunch of impersonal opinions of doctrine, but rather a riveting magnified look at scripture side by side, topic by topic, going into the Greek on occasion.

God receives all the glory due his name.

This book gets the gold.  5 Stars.  5) being, found enjoyable, challenging, useful in many ways, would highly recommend with no holding back, over all EXCELLENT book. Need to read again!

So there you have it, my bonus reviews. I enjoyed March and the diversity of the books I was able to consume.  One political, one fictional, one theological. I think this month I may do more than one review as well.  I've already finished one book. (:

Soli Deo Gloria & Sola Scriptura!

The Troublesome Sins, and Not So Troublesome Ones?

I found these words from a brother of times past, John Owen, to be very encouraging, humbling, and even convicting.  I hope you find comfort, encouragement, and conviction in them too.

John Own, Works pp. VI:40-42

“You who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart.” Romans 6:17

You cannot mortify a specific lust that is troubling you unless you are seeking to obey the Lord from the heart in all area.  If a man finds a particular lust that is powerful and violent and it takes away his peace and troubles him, and if he sets himself against it, prays against it, groans under it, and sighs to be delivered; but in the meantime, perhaps, in other duties and in other ways he is loose and negligent, he will not be able to gain the victory over that troubling lust.  This is a common condition among the sons of men in their pilgrimage.  If we seek to correct a coarse or filthy outbreak of sin in the soul, but neglect the basic duties that promote our spirituality, we labour in vain for it has a bad foundation.  We must hate all sin, as sin, and not only because it troubles us.  Love for Christ because he went to the cross, and hate for sin that sent him there, is a solid foundation for true spiritual mortification.  To seek mortification only because a sin troubles us proceeds from self-love.  Why do you seek to mortify this sin?-Because it troubles you and takes away your peace/  Yes, but you have neglected prayer and reading.  Neglect of these is just as sinful.  Christ bled for these also.  If you hate sin as sin, you will be watchful against everything that grieves the Spirit.  Do you think God will help you in such a hypocritical effort?  Do you think he will free you from this so you can commit another sin that grieves him?  ‘No’, says God, ‘If I free him from this lust, I will not hear from him anymore, and he will be content with his failure.’  We must not be concerned only with that which troubles us, but with all that troubles God.  God’s work is to have full victory, and universal obedience, not just the sins that trouble our soul. (Emphasis my own).

In Review: The Bondage of the Will

Well then, what is my opinion on Dr. Martin Luther's Bondage of the Will?  It is a theme on this blog, so apparently, I am in favor of it!  Indeed, I am.  Martin Luther uses humor, wit, and scripture through out his entire book.  Who would have thought you could chuckle and grin so many times whilst reading a theological book?  If you read this book, you will too.

I will now include some of his humorous words, wit, and dare I say it, sarcasm!-in which he used in his rebuttal to Erasmus's Diatribe.

"So that it seems even superfluous to reply to these your arguments, which have been indeed often refuted by me; but trodden down, and trampled underfoot, by the incontrovertible Book of Philip Melancthon 'Concerning Theological Questions:' a book, in my judgment, worthy not only of being immortalized... in comparison of which your Book is in my estimate, so mean and vile that I greatly feel for you for having defiled you most beautiful and ingenious language with such vile trash; and I feel an indignation against the matter also, that such unworthy stuff should be borne about in ornaments of eloquence so rare; which is as if rubbish, or dung, should be carried in vessels of gold and silver." Pgs. 9-10

Who else but Luther might give compliments and stinging blow upon the ego all at once, with such elegance and colorful language?

"Do you think the Diatribe could be sober or in its right sense when it wrote this?  For I cannot attribute it to malice or iniquity: unless it be that it designed to effectually wear me out by perpetually wearying me, while this, ever like itself, it is continually turning aside to something in a matter so important, then I will be pleased to expose its voluntary fooleries publicly." pg. 196

*grins*

"Wonderful!  Surely the Diatribe does not speak this out of its own head, but has taken it out of some paper or other, sent or received from another quarter, inserted it in its book!  For it certainly can neither see nor hear the meaning of these words!" pg. 176

*chuckles*

"And thus the Diatribe explodes itself." pg. 167

Haha! Favorite!

"May I perish if the Diatribe itself knows what it is talking about." pg. 160

"Only observe, I pray you how many evasions and ways of escape a slippery mind will invent, which wold flee from the truth, and yet cannot get away from it after all." pgs. 155-156

And I ask you, dear reader, how could you resist to engage in such a book with such gems sprinkled through out?  These are but a few in the latter half of the book.  I started highlighting some of these grin inducing remarks alongside the thought inducing remarks made.  I trust you are entirely diverted by such grand writing.

Now, as a serious thought on the book, in many ways I found it to be over my head.  Which is great!  How can one grow in knowledge if you only read books you fully comprehend?  I can say with confidence that though I learned a great deal from reading this book, there is still room for numerous more readings of this one work in the future.  Many times over.

For the heart of the matter, this is a book about the Free-will of man concerning salvation, and the refutation thereof.  It is manifestly clear to Luther, proven by the scriptures, that man possesses no such will.  A good quote from the book sums up why:

"We know that man was constituted lord over those things which are beneath himself; over which, he has a right and a Free-will, that those things might do, and obey as he wills and thinks.  But we are now inquiring whether he has a 'Free-will' over God, that He should do and obey in those things which man wills: or rather, whether God has not a Free-will over man, that he should will and do what God wills, and should be able to do nothing but what He wills and does.  The Baptist (speaking of John) here says, that he 'can receive nothing, except it be given him from above.'-Wherefore, 'Free-will' must be nothing at all!" pg 234

In essence, it is God has Free-will over man VS Man has Free-will over God, in regards to salvation.  Luther is really put out by all the contradictions the Diatribe has, for in one place it declares man cannot gain salvation or do good without the grace of God, then in another place it labors to declare man has the free-will to endeavor after good. Here he says,

"that which was aimed at to be proved, that is, the PROBABLE OPINION; by which, 'Free-will' is defined to be that impotency, 'that it cannot will anything good without grace, but is compelled into the service of sin; though it has endeavour, which, nevertheless, is not to be ascribed to its own powers.'-A monster truly! which, at the same time, can do nothing by its own power, and yet has an endeavour within its own power: and thus, stands upon the basis of a most manifest contradiction!" pg. 110

Luther is asserting in diverse places, that it is a contradiction to say "free-will" can't do good, but at the same time say it can apply itself unto eternal salvation!  He also brings forward this problem: If God does not foreknow and will all things immutably, not contingently, how can anyone trust his promises?

"For if you doubt, or disdain to know that God foreknows and wills all things, not contingently, but necessarily and immutably, how can you believe confidently, trust to and depend upon His promises?  For when He promises, it is necessary that you should be certain that He knows, is able, and willing to perform what He promises; otherwise, you will neither hold Him true nor faithful; which is unbelief, the greatest wickedness, and a denying of the Most High God" pg. 30

Be it said, that Luther is replying to another book, and so this is not a book that just picks up the topic and explains it from scratch.  For all his sarcasm and his fierce devotion the scriptures, he is not lacking grace toward Erasmus.  In his closing he says,

"We must mutually pardon each other in these things; for we are but men, and there is nothing in us that is not touched with human infirmity." pg 199

I enjoyed reading this.  The first half of the book has notes galore and lots of places highlighted where I liked his points, arguments, and explanations.  This made for more laborious reading, and thus, I quickly got behind in my reading schedule.  So I was content to ease up on my notes and to content myself with a quick highlighting of important things to note.  The latter half will be filled with my thoughts via the margins the second reading, perhaps.  I would make mention of the fact that this book is written in a style that is not commonly used in modern writing and makes it "harder" to read, but I recommend it none the less.  Let it be a challenge. Perhaps the excerpts I shared will whet your appetite.

I'm not sure I would recommend this book to anyone interested in the topic of "Free-will" vs "Enslaved Will" who has never delved into the topic before, I might direct them toward someone like Dr. R.C. Sproul first.  (Which, one of his books is on my reading list in this year).  But I do recommend this book whole-heartedly!  I appreciated this copy by Watchmaker Publishing translated by Henry Cole (1823) because of his helpful footnotes.  There is some theology in it in which he contrasts what John Calvin would say on the same topic, or further clarification in the Westminster Confession of Faith.  I would be interested to obtain the copy with which Packer gives the introduction.  Needless to say, I liked this book and found it very informative, and appreciated Dr. Martin Luther's loyalty to the Holy Scriptures, and his being stalwart in his devotion to God's word above man's opinions and good feelings.

I forgot to add my rating.  It gets the big FIVE star.  5) being, found enjoyable, challenging, useful in many ways, would highly recommend with no holding back, over all EXCELLENT book. Need to read again!

How To Read a Book: In Review

Month one and book one are complete.  It is a nice feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment to know I am on track on completing my over all goal, by meeting this small goal.

I decided to share a few thoughts about each book after I complete them, and as a spur of the moment decision, give my own rating.  What will my ratings be?  A scale of 1-5 (Subject to change upon my own whim and will).

1) being, complete waste. Why did I finish it?
2) being, minimally thought provoking/entertaining. Won’t read it again.
3) being, borderline useful/wasteful. mild usefulness in instruction about the faults in it/mildly entertaining; Enough good to be challenged, grow a little in thought. Might read it again.
4) being, a really great book, useful to instruct, thought provoking/good entertainment, very challenging, growth as a reader, way more good than bad, would recommend. Worth reading again.
5) being, found enjoyable, challenging, useful in many ways, would highly recommend with no holding back, over all EXCELLENT book. Need to read again!

~~*~~**~~*~~

So, what is my rating for "How To Read a Book"?  I would give it a 4.  I plan to read it again sometime in the future.

One of the main points it made is if you understand a book you can some it up in one sentence (or a few if it's a long book), if you can't, you need to re-read it to understand.  So my one sentence is also an attempt to be witty:

How To Read A Book, is an instructional piece of literature that is meant to be exhaustive, and applied exhaustively.

Now, if you read the book you *might* catch the humor, or you may think my wit was not at all witty... in any event, I will explain.  It instructs that you must be a demanding reader, which means a myriad of steps, but the essence is that you must be engaged in reading using only your mind to come to understand the book (which is exhausting), and to exhaust all the information you can.  Exhaust the resource, and the mind.  (This review sounded so much better in my head... I need to work on reviews obviously).

I felt the book was owed a demanding critique of a review due to the content, and if I didn't, then I would be forsaking this new knowledge by not applying it on it's own work.  But honestly? I'm exhausted! (; Seriously.  It deserves praise for it is a tutor presenting knowledge and helpful tips, tricks, and rules to educating yourself and pulling yourself up above the status quo by teaching you how to be a demanding reader.  Books over your head are but a challenge to read to learn and grow as a reader and a person.

The information I obtained will be immensely helpful in reading the difficult works ahead of me. (I tremble to think of John Owen's The Death of Death... eek!) Also, I need to work on my understanding of grammar.

So yes, I do recommend reading this book, stat.  Make it your next book project.  The only major problem I have is that it is a secular work and the authors do not acknowledge Christ as Lord, and thus some of their worldview is vastly different.  I disagree on a few points, but a mature reader will take note and look past it.

This is my rough review. Edits might come later. Until then, I am off to drink passion tea and read Luther.

What Do I Love Most?

What do I love most?  I say I love God more than life itself.  Easy.  Simply. 

But it’s far more challenging, far more effort, far more consuming to live out that loving Him better than anything in life.  Do I love Him more than my pride?-my sin?  What about more than my family, friends, and materialistic blessings?

I can say I would lay down my life in an instant for His kingdom’s cause because I know I will spend eternity with Him and in the midst of His perfect and endless love!- but it is wearying to think about living in this messed up broken world being a messed up broken person.  Yes He has redeemed me and given me a new heart, new purpose, and new life!  But it can be despairing to live in a broken place, still falling into sin.

~~ ---- ~~

This was written sometime early in 2011.  And it brings tears to my eyes to even think of it, even if it was incomplete thoughts.  Oh, how absolutely faithful God is!-how true He is!-How wonderful He is!  It is indeed more consuming to live out loving Him better than anything in life.  And let me be the first to tell you, the refining fires of God have tested this most heatedly, most acutely, and most assuredly in my life. 

What a privilege it is, what an honor, blessing, and true test of grace it has been in my life to have the Creator God of the universe to test and approve me through trials and tribulations... and for me to come out sanctified and not cast aside.  I love Him, more dearly than I ever have before in this life, because He showed me His love in ways I cannot describe.  To know His grace when I was left destitute, to know His peace when life's storms buffeted me about, to know His love when I was otherwise forsaken, to know His kindness when others were harsh, to know His Spirit when mine seemed lost, to know His forgiveness when I felt unlovable, to know Him as Comforter when I felt I could never know comfort, to know Him as Healer when I felt forever broken and wounded, to know Him as my rock when all else seemed shaken, to know Him as my salvation when it felt I would never be saved from the pit of despair.  Oh my, how wonderful our God is!  I have lost, yet I have gained so much in Christ.  Whatever cost He deems necessary, by His grace I will submit to His will.  Come what may, He is my all in all.  If He had not chosen me, what a wretch I would still be.  I will love Him, for He has chosen the life I am to lead, so He will give me grace to walk in whatever He has planned for me.

And I am so thankful for the man He has given as my husband to walk this life with.  A true treasure he is. (:

A Room Without Books...

...is like a body without a soul.

If there is something that was very marked about 2012 (other than getting married!), it would be my lack of writing and my lack of reading books.  The only book I read consistently was the bible, or what I was reading with my dear Husband.  Of course, there were a few I did read and finish, but far less than in times past.  I started reading multiple works of literature at sundry times, but for a reason unbeknownst to me, I did not finish them.  Which is almost a crime, and most definitely a travesty, in my book!  I feel compelled to completion to the books I pick up.

Last night as I pondered many things about 2012, the lack of books was one of them.  I wanted to remedy that with the ushering in of a new year, and it being a new day.  So my goal is to read no less than 12 books.  12 books for 12 months.  My plan is to consistently engage in the books that have long been on my reading list, but been far too neglected (and this includes many started but never finished).  Since I plan to be realistic, for each book I plan to break down the total page number and divide it by 30/31 days and have a daily minimum of pages to be read each day.  Self discipline is a weakness of mine, so I have to stretch myself OUT of my comfort zone of not being organized or planning. (;  As a bonus, I plan to drink one cup of tea during each book reading session of every day.  Tea and a book, what could be a more grand plan?

There are a two types of books I wish to tackle this year: ones where I learn and grow in the knowledge of liberty in the realm of politics, and my understanding of God's truth.

My dear and I are reading "The Real Lincoln" together and I am amazed at our history in this country. (I love history, by the way).

So without further ado, my list:

How to Read a Book, Adler & Doren - 346 (11 pages a day)
The Bondage of the Will, Dr. Martin Luther - 260 (9 pages a day)
Nullification, Tom Woods -  266 (8 1/2 pages a day)
Last Days Madness, Gary Demar - 442 (15 pages a day)
Dollar Noncents, Peter Allison - 155 (5 pages a day)
The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace - 249 (8 1/2 pages a day)
The Creature from Jekyll Island, G. Edward Griffin - 588 (19 pages a day)
Essential Truths of the Christian Faith, R.C. Sproul (Sr.) - 287 (9 pages a day)
The Revolution a Manifesto, Dr. Ron Paul - 167 (5 1/2 pages a day)
The Death of Death in the Death of Christ, John Owen - 309 (10 pages a day)

I know this is only ten, but I'm 99.9% sure there are a couple in my church library I want to read and I can't decide which ones until I look them over. (:  The order is subject to change, but I tried to collate them where it was a Christian book then political one.  Also, literally half of those I have started and have yet to be finished, ha.  Did you like my first pick though?  I found it at a used bookstore years ago because the title caught my attention!  Perhaps this will help my reading comprehension and analytical skills to be more honed, and my reading to become more efficient.

Next year perhaps I will tackle Calvin's Institutes... but since I am trying to be realistic here, I didn't include such a feat in my list!  If I am really good, I might devour more than one book in a month.  This is my minimum goal, after all.  What books would you recommend to me?